I am sad, very sad
I can’t sleep. Dear has brought girl to stay with her. Tonight is the first night girl not sleeping with me. All was my fault. I am regretted. 2 a.m. I cried in front of my mum, I told her I am sad, I am sorry to you, I miss Carmen. My mum told me everything lost is doesn’t matter, you must stand up and change, I know you love Carmen very much, I also miss her. Carmen is very important to me, I can’t sleep after cried in front of my mum, and I am really down. My mum said ‘Please go to sleep, tomorrow you have other stuff to face, don’t think so much, everything can start again’. I said sorry to my mum, I am very wrong this time, I will change, I will get back Carmen in future.
I look at I and Carmen masterpiece, the art work that I shown on previous post. I hugged on her pillow, her soft toys, smell on it, it make my brain refresh back many moment with Carmen. When I sit on the sofa, I can visualized Carmen is in front of me and asked me to play balloon with her. I remembered I played few time with her and I said I’m tired, don’t want to play. Now, I hope I can play with her, I hope I can play with her at every moment, I hope I can bath her every day. Now everything is too late, human is like that, when the thing you see every day you won’t appreciate it, but when the thing disappear, you will think on it, miss it and hope it appear in front of you. What can I do?
I looked at Carmen photos and my tears start dropping. I can’t control my emotion. I really think of shouting out or cry out loudly, everything keep inside my heart is very hard feeling. Who can I talk to?
I on TV and switched to Disney Play House channel. This is Carmen favorite channel. We always fight for it, I will grab her remote and change the channel and she will do the same thing, grab my remote and press 6-1-3. From today onwards, nobody will grab the remote from me, I won’t hear ‘6-1-3’ this word anymore, this word will only appear in my mind. ‘Mei’, when I can hear ‘6-1-3’ from your mouth?
Girl, I miss you, I really miss you. I totally can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking of you, and I hope I can hear you call me ‘papa’ again and again. Now I only have 1 wish, which is get out of debts as soon as possible, give them confident about me so that Carmen can come back to me in future. I must do something to make my wish come true, I must make more money, make money in correct way. Girl, give me few years, I will be back, you must be a girl, don’t be naughty, I will always think of you and love you.
Hey, nice post, really well written. You should write more about this. I’ll definitely be subscribing.
Hey, great post, very well written. You should write more about this.