Yesterday my company has a day of team building to Taman Pertanian Shah Alam. Team building means have to play some group games.

We played few games, but there is a game I want to talk here, it is spider web game.

I believe everyone know how the spider web game work. Basically the spider web was created by rope and the will be few holes, is about 10-13 holes in a spider web.

My team has 8 person, 2 guys and 6 girls. Both guys is about 170-180lbs, do you think is heaver?

4 out of 6 girls are in tiny size, 1 is standard size and 1 is about 150-160lbs.

They came out this strategy, let the guys go over first, then the smallest size girl will be the last person to move over and must reserve the bottom hole for her. I am the second person to move over, they (6 girls) carry me to the top most hole but unfortunately they forgot I am 180lbs, I am the heaviest. Since this couldn’t work then I have to use the bottom hole, they just need to carry my leg.

After my turn will be the girls turn. Frankly speaking, I think this game is not suitable for girls or maybe I’m dirty minded. During this game, I accidentally touch my colleague breast, is soft and that’s make me think that is breast so I quickly moved my hand away. I’m sorry about that, but this is game, sometimes is very difficult to avoid.

At last we finished this game with the fastest time against the other 3 teams.

Good game.

What if I walk back my old road, will anyone help me?

I am worrying now because I on thinking whether I can stop it, whether I can stop gambling or not. I did stop for 3 months and recently I gamble back. And now I owe people 2k. I wonder this money can be pay in monthly installment, because I don’t want to borrow money from Along, I don’t want to walk back my old road, this is a dead end road, If I take this road, I will definitely kill myself.

No matter what I must stop this and really plan my future, not only my future is my whole family future. OK, I will stop for everything and concentrate on my work plus my part time. Not many time left for me, I must grab the remaining time to do all I must do for my family. Good luck to me.

I received a Happy Belated Birthday cake and flowers from Singapore colleagues.

Frankly speaking, this is my first time received flowers. Normally I am the one who send out the flowers, so I am a bit nervous when picking it from receptionist.

When I picking it from receptionist, my boss was sitting there reading paper and his eye was staring my cake.

It was a blueberry cake. I didn’t share it with them because they are nothing worth for me to share with them. I want to give Carmen eat. Carmen sang birthday song to me and she said she want birthday cake and candles.

I sent message to dear and said I will send the cake to her office and need her to bring back for Carmen.

This was my first birthday without anyone. I celebrated it myself with better dinner meal. So sad.

13th October is my ex-girl friend birthday. I am 14th and she is 13th, both of us are born in the same year, just one day different.

She was the ex-gf and the only ex-gf I have so far. She’s from East Malaysia and I did mention her on my earlier posts, my cyber lover that becomes real lover in reality, but because of certain thing we can’t be together.

Frankly speaking, that time I was really happy with her, even we only can chat in MIRC, and then slowly through phone and this make me nearly broke.

I love her last time, but now I am not sure I’m still love her or hate or I don’t have feeling. I think I can only figure it out when she stand in front of me. I can’t tell myself how I think about her, but now there are only 3 girls/women that in my mind, my mum, my wife and my daughter.

I miss them.

Friend called me last night but I already sleep and he wrote a message to me “Please call, urgent”. I slept from 7pm and woke up at 10:30pm. His message sent 15 minutes ago. I called him and asked what is so urgent? He asked me to come out for snooker. I thought there is some urgent thing happen, but is just to play snooker, *faint*.

I told him “No Money, tired, want to sleep”, find some excuse to ignore him. I had done a calculation for past few months. I had spent more than RM300 per month for snooker. Spend too much on this. I think I have to control. Almost played 3-4 times per week and every time played until midnight 2am-3am, then 1 hour supper, back home about 3am-4am, sleep 3-4 hours then go to office with tired face.

I must change my life!

My team in Malaysia consists of 3 people and 1 boss. I noticed that I am the odd one. Why I said so? This is because all them have increment letter or salary increase letter but I got nothing, even the new comer also got salary increase. Is it because I got warning letter and I am not entitle for any increment?

I am really sad about this. I miss the opportunity of salary increase, I really hate myself. I feel the world is nothing much for me except my family members. I’m lost, I have no idea what is my future direction is. I need someone to guide me, talk to me, tell me what I should do in future, I really need to talk to someone, I’m going to burst myself, keep everything in heart. I think later I will become psycho.

Lonely when the festival season comes. I saw people celebrate with their family, their partner while I have to celebrate it with no one. Where are all my friends? I don’t dare to find them because I still owe them. I think sooner or later I will become the true lone ranger.

There is no place for me to go? How can I get more income? Money make someone rich and money making someone headache. Is it really true that human must survive in this world, they must have money?

Happy Moon Cake Festival!

I wonder why my July EPF deduction was only made on 10th of August.

Is my company paid late or there is something wrong in EPF system? Why I said so? This is because from the past few months transaction, all are made on the month of it suppose to pay, only my July payment made in August. Have you check on your statement recently?

Who is here? The most favorite virus H1N1 has ‘visited’ to one of the office mate of other company. It is a confirm case of H1N1 and now he in quarantine. After this incident happen, the building management next day put up the entire poster about what are the symptom of H1N1 and also the cleaning procedure. This virus has explored in a month ago, now only the building management posting up the poster, wasn’t it a bit late? Chinese said this as ‘late know late notice’.

My office is also having the same habit, after knowing this incident then only sent out email to notify all the staff and start distributing the hand cleaning foam to pantry of every floor.

This case is getting worst in Malaysia, suddenly got many case of death because of this H1N1. So if nothing to do at night, better stay at home, watch TV and play with your children. The most important thing is take care of your children because they don’t know about this thing, for them it is nothing to them, they only want to play and watch TV. So if they are fever or sick, must quickly bring them to clinic or hospital, seek professional advice from doctor, don’t simply give them medicine. I know many old people used to do it. So you as your children parent must take care of them by yourself can’t always depends on your parents.

Yesterday night my colleague told me they are someone called to office and looked for Alan Yap, he said he is Along. My colleague heard it from one of my closest colleague. Why she doesn’t want to ask me directly? Am I cannot be trusted anymore?

As what I know was only 2 Alongs not accept the offer offered by Datuk Michael Chong. Recently only one of them called me for settlement, but this fellow doesn’t call me Alan Yap, 2 from those who had settled called me Alan Yap, this is really strange. The other point is why the fellow doesn’t call to my mobile and called to office? I think they do not satisfy about the payment, but how come until recently only called to my office? Strange.