What has shrunk? Our company T-Shirt has shrunk! What happen? The story is….

On February, we ordered our t-shirt based on the sample given from the vendor. 2 months later, our company changed the vendor to other, don’t know the reason. They submit the list to new vendor with the size we tested 2 months ago. Here is the problem, the new vendor got the list and proceed to produce the t-shirt without checking the size either is US measure or Asian measure. Until yesterday when they start distribute the t-shirt to our staff, many are complaining about the size, how come so small. Can you imagine size S is longer than size L. I ordered size L and the length does not long enough to cover my tummy. Then only we know the measurement size are different. But even is different also won’t be the size S is longer than size L right? That’s strange.

Whose fault is that? I don’t know, I did not accept the t-shirt, I request to change. How to wear? Not even cover my tummy. Are we going for tummy dance?

Who want to make Police report? Not me, but one of the Along said he can make police report if I don’t settle the money borrowed from him. Not I don’t want to settle, my brother already brought the money to Wisma MCA passed to Datuk Michael Chong officer and Datuk already settled 20 Alongs, still got 2 Alongs refused to accept the amount Datuk offer.

I still remembered that afternoon when I was first in Datuk office. I was interviewed by Aljazeera Network about this case. They are doing research on loan shark case after the chain case happen in Malaysia. They told me they will boxes my face. They did interview one of the Along, the first Along came to collect money and he is one of the Along who refused to accept the money.

What I heard from the Along interview, he said his company is a license company and understand the interest given may not exceeded the interest rate fixed by the Housing and Local Government which is 12% per annum for secure loan and 18% per annum for unsecure loan. I borrowed RM3, 000 from this Along and what I get was RM2, 580 (RM420 was the interest amount, which is 14%) and the loan period is weekly. So this mean next week I have either settle the loan amount or pay the interest amount of RM420. You tell me is the interest rate already exceeded the border line? His name is William.

And now William told me to settle this figure. I told him the money already in Datuk office, you can get it there. he raised his voice and said the money is not enough, only RM100+ profit for a month is not worth it, if you don’t want to settle it I can make police report, say you run away my loan money. You know what I say? “Go, go and report to police, you force me also no use, the money is there. You either take it or make the police report. And you should know your loan interest is already exceeded the border line, so your company license will be gone”. William angrily replied “You know my company got how many license? Lose one still got many”. I wonder is that true? If yes then I really hope Housing and Local Government Minister Datuk Seri Kong Cho Ha really do something on it, how come this can happen.

Few days later, William called me and said he already passes the case to his office and his office person will directly deal with me, he is no longer handling this case. “Fine, then please don’t call me anymore.”

I think now is time for us to revenge back to Along, below was what Datuk Seri Kong Cho Ha said in the PC on 5th June.

“He said the public can lodge complaints or verify the status of moneylenders by calling 03-20992390 or e-mail bpwg@kpkt.gov.my. Complainants identity will be protected.”

Please call or email them your complaints about the Alongs. Is not revenge but is helping our life to be more safety and peaceful.

Due to the building centralize air conditioner out of order, and the building management told our admin officer that they need about 1-2 months to fix it. What takes that so long to fix it? Because they need to order the ‘fan’ and it need to import from other country. Serious? Really need to import the part from other country?

Our MD has sent out an email said that office has purchase 30 standing fans to distribute to every floor and at the meant time, we can dress casual (short pants and t-shirt are allow) or even we can work from home, but this has to get approval from our immediate boss. Don’t dream, my boss won’t allow that, because our place got standalone air-cond., but we are allowed to wear casual to office.

Some people refuse to wear short pants to office. I did asked them why, they told me they are not used to it, they can wear short pants to shopping, watch movie in cinema but not use to wear it to office. They said that is ugly. Different people different view.

Weekend will be a headache day for me, especially now is middle of the month (no more money). What will be my program except staying inside the room? Come to office to do blogging, play PC game and watch drama.

I can’t play PC Game and blogging the whole, so the best thing to do is watch drama. Previously I did download some drama to my laptop. Let’s check on my drama library folder what drama I have not watched.

There is a Japanese drama call ‘Yi Shen De Yan Lei’, I believe person who loves to watch Japanese drama will know this drama. I downloaded this drama last time is because someone told it is very nice to watch and I did heard it from HK TVB drama, they did mentioned this drama. From the name of this drama, I know that it is a sad drama, so need to watch it at right time.

There are 11 episodes of it, I guess I need another week then can finish it. Don’t think people who watch Japanese drama will understand Japanese language. I did watch Japanese drama but I don’t understand Japanese language. I watch it because there are Chinese subtitle. I do watch Korean drama because there are dual languages (mandarin/Cantonese and Korean language).

I think this will be my today program. Boring.

“Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain”, that’s what I am doing now. Alone in the office, looking out of the window, and the weather outside is raining. Why I have to suffer this kind of situation? Now I am thinking of my mum, wife and daughter. I really hope I am with them, hugging each other to get the body warm, get the kind of family spirits.

Is it too late for me to turn back? Today is the first week I live without them. I have to eat alone, wash my own clothes, talk to the wall and sleep alone, is like staying in jail. How long I still have to suffer for this kind of situation? I want to get out for this situation as soon as possible.

I have wasted many months in office and now I have to chase back what I had lost. I lost my reputation and trust from my boss and colleagues, so now I have to work double or triple hard to get them back. I can build such reputation last time why this time I can’t, right?

Mum, I will remember what you told me. I won’t step back the old road, I will walk and create a new road for me, I want to be a success person. I won’t let you down again. Thanks mum.

1, 2, 3…. Stop counting! There are too many love bites on my body. Only one arm you can find more than 50 kisses. The kisses are not from women (I wish) but are the welcome kisses from mosquitoes as my first night move into the room. The room is an empty room, only has one window. I moved in mattress and luggage but no table fan or standing fan. My colleague help me to get this room, is cheap, I only need to pay RM100 per month. It is nearby his house and is at the 4th level, the highest floor of the apartment.

Don’t think staying so high the mosquito cannot fly up. You are wrong! They fly into my room and start playing music around my ear and start kissing my body. The room got no fan so I have to open the window. At night is very hot and noisy. I sleep topless and that’s why my body full of kisses. If not open the window I will face another problem which is hot. Now the weather is hot and hazy, so if I close the window I think tomorrow I will ended up in hospital.

Do you think I can sleep in such environment? No, I can’t sleep at all. I wake up middle of the night due to the lovely music played by the mosquitoes. I told myself I want to move out from here as soon as possible. I must find more side income, I must change my life, and I must stop gambling. My mum left a standing fan in the house for me to take it, so tomorrow I must get it.

Someone asked me since when you start gamble? I think for a while and told him ‘Since I was in Form 2’. Why I so sure? I remembered that year was world cup year, so I gamble between school mates. That time the amount we gamble was between RM5 to RM50, very rare we gamble RM50. Most of the bets were RM5-RM10 per match. Now only I realized I had gamble for 20 years or more.

I stopped it when I study in college, and I started back after I got my job. I gamble through my friend father, he is a bookie. I called to him and place the bets, and I start collect bets from friends, so I am qualified as a small bookie because I did took a small portion from the winning stack as commission.

Few years later, internet becomes very common and people start betting through internet. My friend, not my friend but is his friend create an account for me to bet. He gave me a credit like for example of RM3000, minimum bet per match will be RM50, maximum per match will be RM1000, all this can be set by them. If you need higher credit, just tell them and they will do it for you if you are a good gamble, good gamble means pay back on time if loss.

There are pros and cons between internet betting and phone betting. Internet betting can bet at anytime on any match as long as you can connect to internet, but because of this flexibility, it makes you loss more. Why? Because there is no control, you can just bet whatever game play on that day, no matter you know the team or not. This is a kind of sickness.

For phone betting, there is a control. They only accept bets on major football league like English Premier League, Germen League, Spanish League and France League. People call this 4 major football league. Some of the league played at 3am Malaysia time, so sometime we didn’t manage to bet it and we have to place the bet before the bookie sleep, bookie also need to sleep. That’s the inconvenient and because of this inconvenient it sometimes reduce our losses, not sometime it should be most of the time. That time my betting stack was about RM100-RM500.

After start betting through internet, I start losing big money, not only my own money but also my mum savings. I loss all my mum saving and causes her have to suffer with me. Not only that, I am worst until borrow money from loan shark to bet, I hope to win back some money with the money borrowed. A gambler has the mindset that not every time will lose money, is like the mindset that you play banker player. You won’t believe it can be continuously 7 games also is banker, you will think that next game should be player, but sometimes nothing is impossible, the next game still banker and continue for 3 games as well. And because of this mindset, make me loss everything in my life.

Now I have nothing, I had been kicked out from the house, my mum force to stay with my wife (will she divorce with me in future?) and daughter in other places and my wife doesn’t want to let me know where she stay. I had loss my family, my friends, my properties and my personalities, no one will trust me anymore. These few nights I slept in the office and I had to wake up at 6am before someone come into the office. I can’t lose this job. I have to work hard on this. I don’t think I am the worst one as a gambler, at least I still have my life, I still can start over again, I think I can start over again as long as I stop gambling. I have made up my mind to stop gambling, concentrate on work and part time. I already promised to my mum that I will buy her a house after 5 years, so I have to fully utilize this 5 years. I am sad that that day you called me and told me you are lonely in the house. Don’t know how to switch on the TV, very boring there. Mum, sorry mum, I will get you stay with me in future. I will double or triple my speed to success our wish, be patience ok? Carmen also told me she wants to go home. Home? Girl, papa has lose the home, I have no home for you to stay, and you have to stay with mummy. Papa will fetch you home in few years and papa will visit you and bring you out very often.

See, this is my situation, this is a gambler situation, do you want to follow my foot step? Since everything is not too late, please stop yourself for digging the hole, you will never cover the hole if you keep gambling, you will only make the hole bigger and bigger until it can bury your whole body. You want this to be happen? is not only you yourself the only one who suffer but your family as well, look at me, my mum, my wife and my daughter have to suffer together with me. So gambler, you must stop gambling and I guarantee your future will be peaceful, you will regret like me if you keep gambling.

I can’t sleep. Dear has brought girl to stay with her. Tonight is the first night girl not sleeping with me. All was my fault. I am regretted. 2 a.m. I cried in front of my mum, I told her I am sad, I am sorry to you, I miss Carmen. My mum told me everything lost is doesn’t matter, you must stand up and change, I know you love Carmen very much, I also miss her. Carmen is very important to me, I can’t sleep after cried in front of my mum, and I am really down. My mum said ‘Please go to sleep, tomorrow you have other stuff to face, don’t think so much, everything can start again’. I said sorry to my mum, I am very wrong this time, I will change, I will get back Carmen in future.

I look at I and Carmen masterpiece, the art work that I shown on previous post. I hugged on her pillow, her soft toys, smell on it, it make my brain refresh back many moment with Carmen. When I sit on the sofa, I can visualized Carmen is in front of me and asked me to play balloon with her. I remembered I played few time with her and I said I’m tired, don’t want to play. Now, I hope I can play with her, I hope I can play with her at every moment, I hope I can bath her every day. Now everything is too late, human is like that, when the thing you see every day you won’t appreciate it, but when the thing disappear, you will think on it, miss it and hope it appear in front of you. What can I do?

I looked at Carmen photos and my tears start dropping. I can’t control my emotion. I really think of shouting out or cry out loudly, everything keep inside my heart is very hard feeling. Who can I talk to?

I on TV and switched to Disney Play House channel. This is Carmen favorite channel. We always fight for it, I will grab her remote and change the channel and she will do the same thing, grab my remote and press 6-1-3. From today onwards, nobody will grab the remote from me, I won’t hear ‘6-1-3’ this word anymore, this word will only appear in my mind. ‘Mei’, when I can hear ‘6-1-3’ from your mouth?

Girl, I miss you, I really miss you. I totally can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking of you, and I hope I can hear you call me ‘papa’ again and again. Now I only have 1 wish, which is get out of debts as soon as possible, give them confident about me so that Carmen can come back to me in future. I must do something to make my wish come true, I must make more money, make money in correct way. Girl, give me few years, I will be back, you must be a girl, don’t be naughty, I will always think of you and love you.

After watching the children program from Disney Playhouse Channel, this is what Carmen did.

She gets a blank A4 paper, draw a tree, a sun and a human. This is exactly what she saw from TV program. After that, she gets another paper and asks for scissor. I told her you are too young to hold the scissor, let’s me help you. She said ‘Alright’.

She asked me to cut a cloud, then she put the cloud to cover the sun. She said the human feel hot. Then she draws rains. After that she asked me to cut out an umbrella, she said the human feel cold. So I cut an umbrella to her and she put the umbrella holder on top of the human hand. I try to move the umbrella to higher position and she start making noise, she said ‘’Papa, NO, is here, is on the hand”. Then she adjusts back the umbrella to the hand.

She’s smart, after watching the program and still remembers the content. We must give her good education environment, hope she can study and learn more, ‘Papa cannot stay with you to teach you, draw with you, you must listen to mummy and popo, papa will work hard to earn more money for you’.

I am totally lost, lost everything. No mother, no wife, no daughter, no house and no car. All destroyed by me.

Dear, I only request girl to stay one night with me, why cannot? I am really sad when hearing girl talk to me on the phone, I am really sorry to you girl. I promise, I promise I will work harder to earn more money in short period, I won’t go to borrow again from ALONG, but I will asked them to be my client, I want to make their business. Girl, give me 6 months, give me 6 months to find more money. I know you will go to kindergarten next year, I will pay your school fees, and I will do what a father should do to a children. Sorry ‘Mei’ (girl nickname).

Dear, I am wrong. I know I am not trustable anymore. That’s why I won’t answer your question, because I know you won’t believe, I can only use action to proof it. You just wait and see. I must change! I can’t disappoint you, mum and girl anymore.